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Wide White: Heaven and earth

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Heaven and earth

A few people have said they're jealous of Kaylee Hope because she'll make it to heaven before we do. She won't have to live through the misery and pain of this world like the rest of us - pain like what we're going through right now.

I have to confess, I'm not in the same place as these people. I'm glad they're sharing their perspective. It's good for me to consider. I know I'm supposed to view heaven as this perfect place that we all want to be at right now. We're supposed to long to be there right now, free from the bondage of this world.

But I'm realizing more and more that's not exactly how I view heaven or this world. I'm not suggesting my view is right. It's just how I'm seeing things at this moment.

Yes, our world is fallen. Yes, our world contains a lot of pain. Yes, heaven is free from all of this!

But this world is beautiful too. I haven't seen a lot of it, but I've been to each of the 50 states that make up this country. I've watched the sun rise over the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California's Yosemite National Park and over a volcano in Hawaii's Haleakala National Park. I've seen the sun set over the Pacific Ocean on the rocky coast of Monterey and over the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.

And what about the beauty that's found in love between a husband and wife, or between a parent and child, or the bonds of friendship? What about the simple things, like just playing games around a table with friends or sitting on a couch on a Friday night with a bag of Doritos and a good movie?

If there weren't beauty in this world it would seem completely depressing to be here. We say it's better for us to leave this world - and fundamentally we know this is true - yet our departure from it is still so sad and bitter. We don't have to live for this world for us to love and appreciate the beauty God has created in it.

I have peace knowing that my little girl will be in heaven. But my peace isn't because she gets to skip life on earth. I'll always long for what could have been. I'll always wish she'd have taken her first step across the living room floor, seen her first baseball game, caught her first bass, worn her first prom dress, taken her first cross-country road trip, gotten her first job....

I don't find comfort in knowing she's missed out on all of this. I don't even take comfort in the fact that she's missing out on all of the bumps along the way in life.

I have peace that my daughter will rest peacefully and that she will be loved. But despite the draw of heaven, I'll always wish I'd had her longer here on earth.

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6 Comments:

Blogger watchman declared,

You're right.

Also, I freaking LOVE Doritos

3/08/2011 8:50 AM  
Blogger Keithslady declared,

The older I get and the more pain I endure the better heaven looks. The more tired I feel the more I cherish the thought of rest. Yet, I don't 'envy' a young person missing life even if it means gaining heaven.

You are right, God gave us a lot of good here. I don't think so much about what Kaylee would miss, but about what you would miss in not having her. I've had my first homerun hit and seen my children get theirs. The latter was far greater and much more emotional for me.

3/08/2011 2:46 PM  
Blogger zcoffeegirl declared,

Beautifully written, so honest. And..I am right there with you.

3/09/2011 11:40 AM  
Blogger Always an Adventure declared,

comforted by your perspective. I feel the same, our miscarriage, friends young losses. God BLESS you both.

3/09/2011 6:11 PM  
Anonymous Ranger Em declared,

My goodness my friend--how can you be so wise and still so young? :) I was gone for awhile and out of contact but tonight reading all your posts, I'm honored to call you my friend. You are strong, you are brave and you and Jamie are amazing. My thoughts are with you all. Love, Emily

3/09/2011 10:37 PM  
Blogger Kara Jo declared,

very VERY well said, Joey. Your father's heart expressed with honest sincerity.

3/10/2011 7:19 PM  

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