The Sacred Sandwich

A friend just told me about this website called The Sacred Sandwich. I laughed out loud when I read this "article" from the mock publication.

EMERGING CHURCH ADDS U.N. TRANSLATOR TO STAFF

JUNE 2007 --- Soul Village Fellowship, a church for postmodern “Christ-followers” in Fort Collins, CO, has announced the recent hiring of Miller Conway as an interpreter for their Sunday morning service. Conway, a former UN translator, has been given the task of translating Pastor Jay Windom’s sermons for those in the congregation who are still struggling with understanding the church’s ongoing “emerging conversation.”

As Pastor Jay gives his weekly postmodern message, Conway will be sequestered in an audio booth where he will provide the English translation. The audio provided by Conway will then be fed to small headphones located in front of each worshipper to be used in case they have difficulty comprehending the pastor’s deeper thinking.

Pastor Jay says he is pleased with the addition of Conway and added: “My missional aspiration to transformulate a new pathway of synergistic relationship with God in order to find our True Selves within the realm of our perceived existence cannot be fulfilled without exploring that higher mystery within a postmodern metaphysical construct. If people don’t get where I'm coming from, then I’m glad Miller Conway can facilitate a conscious understanding of the divine in the midst of their healthy confusion.”

When asked if he agreed with Pastor Jay’s sentiment, Conway replied, “I have no idea what he just said.”

I find much of modern Christianity, regardless of its label, becoming very undefined, vague, elusive, lacking definition, asking lots of questions without providing answers, etc. While that problem carries a lot more seriousness than the humorous tone of this article indicates, the article does do a good job of rather irreverently exposing some of those problems.