My brother just can't forgive

Okay, so that's a bit or a harsh way to put it.

I had a post from a few weeks ago called "I'll forgive the Chicks," in which the crux of my argument was this:

I'm not willing to throw a stone at the Dixie Chicks when the truth is, I probably would have said the same thing about a leader I didn't likef.

My brother sent me an email today, and for the sake of giving equal time to what he had to say, here's the bulk of it.

Hey bro, I couldn't help but remember your blog about the dixie chicks when I was watching CMT. If you haven't seen or heard the dixie chicks latest song, I'm not ready to make nice, you should listen to it. It is garbage, and while I may have been inclined to agree with your blog to a certain extent, I don't after hearing that song. They don't deserve to be forgiven. They are pure white trash, and will remain as such unless they decide to get "ready to make nice." Just figured I'd let you know what I was thinking when I saw that today.

You spaz! You're such a joey!!!

The BBC thinks it's newsworthy that Tiger Woods used the word "spaz."

So what did Tiger Woods mean when he said: "I was so in control from tee to green, the best I've played for years... But as soon as I got on the green I was a spaz."

He was describing a poor performance. A flawed performance. An impaired performance. Many e-mails to the Ouch! website on Tuesday were from people wanting to point out that spaz means something different in America. "It just means idiot," one reader wrote. Idiot with an etymological nod towards spasticity though?

Is the fact that a nation has lost sight of the origins of the word a good or bad thing? Is it harmful or is it genuinely meaningless now?

ADAPT is America's biggest grassroots disability rights organisation. I rang round some of their members and found out that they didn't even know about the Woods story as it wasn't reported as widely over there. But they did have views on the s-word.

Wow. Since when did we get a new s-word?

I do like the British take on my name though.

In the UK, the words spaz and spastic seem to pack a bigger punch. I think we can firmly place the blame at the door of Blue Peter for this.

Never was its potency or currency so big as when the programme featured Joey Deacon in the early 1980s, believing the story of a 60-year-old man with cerebral palsy overcoming the odds would touch the hearts of under-12s.

Oh, how wrong. It unleashed a monster. Spaz, spastic, spacker, joey, spazmo - all became familiar phrases that year and were still being used years later by gurning children in the playground. Spaz became synonymous with useless incompetence - the type you see in disabled people portrayed badly on TV.

Joey even got a mention in a Human League song and on Minder.

Silly Brits.

I'll forgive the Chicks

The Dixie Chicks have been unofficially banned from country music. There are only a few markets who have continued playing them - Minneapolis is one of them - and only six major markets playing their new single, "Not Ready to Make Nice."

After the resentment a few years ago when the Chicks' lead singer, Natalie Maines, said, "I'm ashamed President Bush is from Texas," I never thought I'd say this.

We've gone way too far with this whole thing.

Here's why I say that. Imagine that Russ Feingold becomes the President. And let's say that 5 years from now, I'm a big celebrity. If 55% of the United States and 65% of the world doesn't like Feingold, and I don't like him either, it would be really, really easy for me to get up in front of a crowd in London and say, "I'm ashamed that Russ Feingold is from Wisconsin."

I don't think celebrities should use their platform like they do, and I still don't like what the Chicks said. But then, I never did care for their music anyway.

The fact is, they have an opinion, and Natalie made the poor decision to say what she said. We all make poor decisions like that.

I'm not willing to throw a stone at the Dixie Chicks when the truth is, I probably would have said the same thing about a leader I didn't like.

Call me retarded

The other night, a good friend and I were talking and he said, "That's retarded."

I didn't think much of it. Do I use the word "retarded?" No. Do I like the word? No. I think the use of the word - similar to saying, "That's gay" - simply reveals your intellectual integrity.

However, I don't get all bent out of politically correct shape over it. So, I thought it was odd when he immediately stopped with a look that said, "Did I seriously just say that?" And said, "Dude, I'm sooooo sorry!!"

He then repeated that apology a few more times, like I should have been put off at what he said.

It took me a while to figure out why he was so apologetic this time. I have a three-week-old brother who has Down syndrome. Apparently, until three weeks ago, I had no reason to be offended by the word "retarded."

Now, I should be horrified at the use of the word.

I'm not.

Last week, a radio host was fired after calling Condoleezza Rice a "coon" on the air. Upon using the word, he immediately apologized, and spent the next twenty seconds saying, "I am totally, totally, totally, totally, totally sorry for that."

In case you weren't counting, that was 5 totallys. He was still fired.

Now, I like Condoleezza Rice, and I don't like the derogative use of the word "coon" any more than I like the "n" word. Having said that, have we gotten so politically correct that we can't allow for even one mistake?

I appreciated the fact that my friend apologized. He said he's trying not to use the word "retarded" in the way he did anyway, regardless of my brother.

Having said that, I felt no need for him to apologize. I wasn't offended. Being a white male conservative Christian [chauvinist bigot he-man woman-hater racist pig] who not only chaired a conservative organization and Bible study while I was in college but also had a column in my student newspaper and was (and still am) politically active, I've been called just about everything. Most of it, I'd never actually write or say.

However, that's how those people felt. Why should they apologize for that? So what if I think they're intellectually deficient for using their chosen words? Since when did my opinion become a universal code that everyone else must follow, lest my feelings be hurt?

My friend apologized for using the word "retarded" because he genuinely felt bad about using the word. That St. Louis radio host apologized because he was genuinely sorry for what he'd said. Hey, I'm glad both of these people realized that what they said wasn't appropriate and apologized immediately.

But you won't hear me asking for an apology for something someone calls me. I'm sick of our culture trying to keep people from saying what they think. People should love one another, and if they don't, I'd rather they be upfront about it rather than playing nice because their culture demands an apology if they don't.

So, call me retarded. And while you can assume that my respect for any intellectual integrity you're trying to pass off will be a bit degraded, you can be sure that I won't demand an apology.

UW shows some common sense

This is the text of the new UW System policy proposal from system president Kevin Reilly. I'll take it.

Resident Assistants are expected to work with student residents to create an open, inclusive, and supportive residential community. At the same time, because RAs are students themselves, they are encouraged to participate in campus activities and organizations. As such, RAs may participate in, organize, and lead any meetings or other activities, within their rooms, floors or residence halls, or anywhere else on campus, to the same extent as other students. However, they may not use their positions to inappropriately influence, pressure, or coerce student residents to attend or participate.

My only concern is with the last sentence, since it could be left to one's interpretation. However, as someone who held bible studies in my dorm room when I was an RA in college, I think a policy like this would have been a good, workable solution.