Call me retarded

The other night, a good friend and I were talking and he said, "That's retarded."

I didn't think much of it. Do I use the word "retarded?" No. Do I like the word? No. I think the use of the word - similar to saying, "That's gay" - simply reveals your intellectual integrity.

However, I don't get all bent out of politically correct shape over it. So, I thought it was odd when he immediately stopped with a look that said, "Did I seriously just say that?" And said, "Dude, I'm sooooo sorry!!"

He then repeated that apology a few more times, like I should have been put off at what he said.

It took me a while to figure out why he was so apologetic this time. I have a three-week-old brother who has Down syndrome. Apparently, until three weeks ago, I had no reason to be offended by the word "retarded."

Now, I should be horrified at the use of the word.

I'm not.

Last week, a radio host was fired after calling Condoleezza Rice a "coon" on the air. Upon using the word, he immediately apologized, and spent the next twenty seconds saying, "I am totally, totally, totally, totally, totally sorry for that."

In case you weren't counting, that was 5 totallys. He was still fired.

Now, I like Condoleezza Rice, and I don't like the derogative use of the word "coon" any more than I like the "n" word. Having said that, have we gotten so politically correct that we can't allow for even one mistake?

I appreciated the fact that my friend apologized. He said he's trying not to use the word "retarded" in the way he did anyway, regardless of my brother.

Having said that, I felt no need for him to apologize. I wasn't offended. Being a white male conservative Christian [chauvinist bigot he-man woman-hater racist pig] who not only chaired a conservative organization and Bible study while I was in college but also had a column in my student newspaper and was (and still am) politically active, I've been called just about everything. Most of it, I'd never actually write or say.

However, that's how those people felt. Why should they apologize for that? So what if I think they're intellectually deficient for using their chosen words? Since when did my opinion become a universal code that everyone else must follow, lest my feelings be hurt?

My friend apologized for using the word "retarded" because he genuinely felt bad about using the word. That St. Louis radio host apologized because he was genuinely sorry for what he'd said. Hey, I'm glad both of these people realized that what they said wasn't appropriate and apologized immediately.

But you won't hear me asking for an apology for something someone calls me. I'm sick of our culture trying to keep people from saying what they think. People should love one another, and if they don't, I'd rather they be upfront about it rather than playing nice because their culture demands an apology if they don't.

So, call me retarded. And while you can assume that my respect for any intellectual integrity you're trying to pass off will be a bit degraded, you can be sure that I won't demand an apology.