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Wide White: French jokes

Friday, June 02, 2006

French jokes

I love French jokes. If you don't, then stop reading now, because you won't like the rest of this post.

Q: Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes?
A: In France.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.

Q: How do you kill a Frenchman?
A: Slam the toilet seat down when he's getting a drink.

"Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion."
- Former Deputy Undersecretary of Defense Jed Babbin.

Donald Rumsfeld was being heckled by a French anti-war weenie when he suddenly turned and asked the Frenchman:
"Excuse me. Do you speak German?"
The Frenchman replied "No."
Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome."

True quote from French President Jacques Chirac:
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
True quote from Rush Limbaugh:
"As far as France is concerned, you're right!"

Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A: The Army.


Blogger allendrury declared,

I enjoy the Bush statements myself.

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- Governor George W. Bush

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Governor George W. Bush

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- Governor George W. Bush

6/03/2006 2:27 PM  
Blogger Joey declared,

I enjoy them too. If everything I said were being recorded 24 hours a day, I'd have some pretty lame statements too. The first one is a bit obvious, but the second two aren't really that stupid. NASA is actually involved in a whole lot more than just space. But I digress.

And besides, you're a journalist. You would enjoy Bush falling on his face.

6/03/2006 2:35 PM  
Blogger kristi noser declared,

Larry just asked us to bring a funny joke to staff meeting on Tues. You're in the limelight this week, because these are the ones I'm bringing.

6/03/2006 5:49 PM  
Blogger Joey declared,

Nice! Do I get a prize? Like, if one of these jokes is voted "best joke" or something?

6/03/2006 5:52 PM  
Blogger keithslady declared,

I laughed, but wouldn't have put in the "number of jokes" one or the toilet seat one. Too easy a laugh without making any real point--they're just sort of mean.

6/03/2006 10:39 PM  
Blogger Joey declared,

This is true. On both accounts.

6/03/2006 10:45 PM  
Blogger kristi noser declared,

I probably shouldn't tell your mom that the toilet seat one is the one I laughed at hardest, huh?

I'll ask Larry of you get the prize, although knowing Larry, I would be afraid just what it would be...

6/04/2006 1:17 PM  
Blogger Reegz declared,

Some kind of leftovers from a potluck or something....

6/05/2006 9:11 AM  
Blogger Joey declared,

Hey, I'll take leftovers! Or a 23.6 ounce pizza, whatever works best for you.

6/05/2006 7:06 PM  
Blogger Reegz declared,

Ha ha! I bet you are still digesting that! I was glad to feed you. :o) You forgot your Klondike bar!

6/05/2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger Joey declared,

Yeah, I'm not so sure I forgot the Klondike bar so much as I couldn't fit it in. 24 ounce pizza...are you kidding?

It was pretty sweet though!

6/06/2006 8:24 AM  
Blogger kristi noser declared,

If you told me you were going to have Klondike bars....

Joey, you didn't win the best joke prize. But the toilet one almost made Cindy gag and that's always fun.

6/06/2006 7:43 PM  
Blogger Joey declared,

Oh well, I'll learn to live another day.

6/07/2006 8:55 AM  
Anonymous swurtz declared,

Joel, Ilove you French jokes...

6/12/2006 10:01 PM  

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