How did he record that message and keep a straight face?

I called my former cell carrier to pay my last bill since they took down my online account.

They didn't recognize my phone number since the account is closed, so had to go to a live operator. I got this recorded message:

"Thank you for holding. We are currently experiencing a large volume of calls. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available representative. Please stay on the line. We appreciate your patience."

I know that's word-for-word because I had to wait on hold long enough to hear it more than 5 times.

Excuse me, but, of all phrases they could have recorded they say, "We are currently experiencing a large volume of calls?" Um, I'm currently experiencing a small volume of patience, because I'm currently experiencing a large volume of workload, and currently experiencing your voice isn't helping things. Experiencing a large volume of jokes from you would at least make the time go by a little faster.

I then experienced being put on hold again because I needed to be transferred to financial services since she couldn't experience pulling up a closed account.

How about I experience not paying the bill? If it's a closed account, would they experience ever noticing?

I'm currently experiencing good grief.

(Final time experienced on phone: 14:30. I guess I've had worse.... It's still a stupid "thank you for holding" message.)